


Wibbly Wobbly

by Fyre



Category: Doctor Who, Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Crossover
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-02-03
Updated: 2013-02-03
Packaged: 2017-11-28 03:30:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,408
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/669774
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fyre/pseuds/Fyre
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sometimes, strange things happen in Storybrooke, Maine. Sometimes, strange people do too. And sometimes, strange is just what you need to help.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Wibbly Wobbly

**Author's Note:**

> afterbaedeker prompted me to write Rory and Charming discussing their daughters. And this happened. 3400 words of THIS. I should be in bed. I'm working in 9 hours.

The blue box was new.

James scratched the back of his neck. "Gold, do you have an explanation for this?"

Gold looked at him impatiently. "If I did, would I have called you to my shop to ask you what it's doing blocking my door?"

Charming looked at him. "You're not usually very forthcoming with information most people would consider useful," he said. He unholstered his gun as the door opened in the side of the box. 

"Oh! Hello!" A man poked his head out the door. "I wasn't sure if we'd be able to land here, what with all the temporal distortions that have been hanging around like a bad smell, but it looks like someone got your pipes clear of a chronoblock." He swung out of the box. "Oh, yes! yes, this is exactly what I was hoping to find! My word, look at all the inconsistencies! It’s like Christmas!"

"And you are?"

"Who? Me?" The man spun around to face Charming. He was tall and gangling and young with a bow tie and smiling a benign smile. "Oh, I'm the Doctor."

"Oh Gods," Rumpelstiltskin groaned.

"No," the Doctor said, pointing a finger at him. "The correct response is 'Doctor who?'. You can't ruin decades of tradition."

"Amy!" Another male voice yelled from within the box. "Hurry up! He's annoying the natives again!"

"Excuse me," James said as politely as he could. "But do you mind explaining who you are and why you set up a... police box in front of Mr Gold's store?"

The man was peering in the store window. "Not set up," he said. "Parked. Landed." he twirled around and gestured dramatically with his hands. "Coalesced!" He stalked over towards Gold like some carnivorous wading bird and bent close to peer at him. "Your fingerprints are all over this place, you know."

"I have no idea what you're talking about," Gold said tersely. "I'm just a pawnbroker."

The Doctor snorted. "And I didn't just travel across time and space in a spaceship disguised as a police box," he said. He prodded the middle of Rumpelstiltskin's chest. "I told you I couldn't bring you to this world half a dozen lifetimes ago. Temporal folding like the mess you made, well, it has a cost."

"Oh, I'm well aware of that," Gold snapped. "If you've come to deliver a lecture..."

"Don't encourage him!" A red-haired woman all but fell out of the phone box. "Doctor! We're not here for some kind of insult-everyone-and-leave convention again, are we? Because you said you'd warn us if you were going to do that again."

The Doctor was still looking sternly at Rumpelstiltskin. "No," he said. Under James's watchful gaze, he seemed to have aged from youthful, exuberant man to something ancient and powerful. "No, I'm here to try and stop someone messing around with time and space and going untold damage again, because he's too stubborn."

"Interfering in time and space and too stubborn to know when to stop?" the woman said. "Hmm. Where do I know that from?" She beamed at James. “Sorry about him. He tends to get… involved in things and then the talking happens. It’s the stopping him that’s the trouble.”

James’s hand was resting on his gun. “And you’re here how? And why?”

“Spaceship-phonebox-thing,” the woman said. “Time-travel, timey-wimey, all kinds of weird things that science-boy knows all about.” She reached over and prodded the Doctor in the back. “Oi. Are we sticking around? Me and Rory are hungry.”

The Doctor didn’t even turn around. “Run along,” he said, still watching Gold like a hawk. “Have fun. Try the flapjacks. If she’s as good as she used to be, they’ll be a treat.”

Another man emerged from the blue box. “Doctor, the screens are going a bit mad.” He was younger than the first, with sandy blond hair and a harried look. “I could have sworn one of them had a file for little red riding hood.”

“You know who we are?” James said, suspiciously. 

“Time, space, spaceship,” the woman said. “Trust me. Fairytales being real isn’t as much of a shock as you might think.” She looped her arm through his. “Who do we have to kill for a decent cup of tea around here?”

The blond man fell into step on his other side.

“What about the… Doctor?”

The woman waved a hand dismissively. “He’ll talk at that old bloke,” she said. “We’ll come back. They’ll either be best friends or have tried to kill each other and we’ll have had something to eat, and have enough energy to stop them either way.”

“Did I mention this isn’t exactly normal?” James asked, looking from one to the other.

“Finally!” The other man threw up his hands. “I’m not the only one!”

 

_____________________________________________

 

“You didn’t help before,” Gold said tersely, pushing the back door of the shop open. “Why do you think I would want your help now?”

“Who said anything about you wanting it?” The Doctor wandered into the shop and spun on his toes, looking around. “This isn’t about you, Rumpelstiltskin. You grabbed the fabric of two worlds and tied it in a knot. Did you think it wouldn’t be noticed?”

Gold drummed his fingertips against his cane. “So I did what you wouldn’t do. You know why I did it.”

The Doctor was still, suddenly, and silent. “You don’t have a monopoly on loss,” he said, his voice cold as ice and quiet. “Don’t imagine you can use that to excuse all the damage you have done to this world and the last.”

“And you have the right to judge me?” Gold snapped. “You have no idea of the things I had to do to get this far.”

The Doctor’s long-fingered hands spread on the worktable. “Oh, I know,” he said, something dark and ugly in his voice. “I know very well, because I’ve done them as well, and that’s exactly why I have the right. I’ve seen more than you can possibly imagine, and the loss of one child does not justify the deaths you have caused.”

Gold was watching him unblinkingly. “And yet,” he said quietly. “You’ve done them as well.”

The Doctor’s shoulders were arched, rigid, and he bared his teeth, breathing out long and slow. “Don’t try my patience, Rumpelstiltskin,” he said. “I’m trying to be kind, but that doesn’t mean I’ve forgotten how to be cruel.”

“Then why are you here, Doctor?” Gold said tautly. “Are you here to say what I’ve done is too much? That the seal around this damned town is unbreakable?”

The Doctor lowered his head. “No,” he said, barely above a whisper. “That’s not why I’m here.” He breathed in deeply, then looked up. “I’m here to make sure that all you’ve done hasn’t been a waste.”

Gold drew back, startled. “You’re… here to help?”

The Doctor straightened up, rubbing his brow with his fingertips. “No, no, no,” he said. “If you go poking around in time and space and things that a wizard doesn’t understand, you’ll just make more of a mess. Like a child trying to copy the Mona Lisa in fingerpaints. It’s not as simple as you tried to make it, and that’s why you’re tied in a Gordian knot of your own creating.”

“I got this far,” Gold said defensively.

“Yes, and very well done for almost popping the world like an over-inflated balloon,” the Doctor said sharply. “Have you any idea how much of a mess you’ve made of everything? To be quite honest, I’m amazed we haven’t turned into some hybrid species of shrimp.” He slapped his hand down on the counter. “But I’m not here to argue. There’s a method to opening the timeline here to the world outside. You’ll need to listen very carefully.”

Gold eyed him warily. “How do I know you aren’t just trying to fold us back?”

The Doctor drummed his spidery fingers on the desk. “I’ll make you a deal,” he said. “I’ll open the doorway, and you stop trying to pretend you have any idea about physics, science, time, and space.”

Given how complex all aspects of the curse had been relating to those matters, Gold nodded at once. “Deal.”

______________________________________________________

 

“So he’s really an alien?”

“Mm-hmm,” Amy said around a mouthful of waffle, her voice muffled. “These are really good.”

“She doesn’t normally speak with her mouth full,” Rory said helpfully. Amy elbowed him hard in the ribs, earning an amused look. “Well, not all the time anyway.”

“I’m having a little trouble with the whole time-and-space thing.”

Rory grinned across the table at the man who had identified himself in succession as James, David, and Charming. Amy had almost said something completely inappropriate and had only been stopped by waffles and lots of them. 

“Don’t try looking in the phone box,” he said. “It’ll give you a headache for days. I’m still trying to wrap my head around the fact that my wife met our daughter before she was even conceived.”

The man - a Prince, apparently - put down his coffee cup. “Excuse me?”

“Long story,” Amy said, shoving the rest of her waffles to Rory. “But let’s just say time-travel is a bitch. My daughter went to school with me and saved my life before I ever got pregnant.”

James shook his head with a lop-sided smile. “My daughter’s twenty-eight, and I’ve managed to spend all of two hours with her since she was born. She slew the dragon that I fed a golden egg to only three years ago by my count.”

“Space and time?” Rory said with a sympathetic grimace.

“The curse,” James said. “We got sent here, but she wasn’t caught in the time bubble around Storybrooke and now…” He shook his head. “My daughter’s the same age as me and my wife, and I have a grandson, even though I never had a chance to be a dad.”

“First time I met our daughter,” Rory said, “she had just kicked the collective backsides of an alien race. I had no idea who she was, of course, but I knew she could take care of herself from then.” He smiled ruefully. “It doesn’t ever stop you worrying.”

“Has your kid ever arrested you?” James said.

“Is this a competition for weirdest my-child-is-grown-up stories?” Amy asked, “Because if it is, I can win this one hands down.”

“Goo-baby?” Rory asked.

Amy shook her head. “I was having a picnic with my daughter and her husband by a lake, and then my daughter - same one from a different time in a space suit - climbed out of the lake and shot her husband, in front of me, while I was pregnant with her, and while the other her shot at herself.”

James stared at them both. “You’re serious?”

“Do you want to use the ketchup and mustard bottles as avatars?” Rory offered helpfully. “It’s sometimes more helpful with a demonstration.”

James shook his head. “No. No, I think it’ll just make things worse.” He drummed his fingers on the table. “How long have you know your kid now?”

Amy and Rory exchanged looks. “A few years now,” she said. “She comes by sometimes for a holiday, but she’s working a lot.”

“Archaeologist,” Rory added. “Kind of funny she ended up working with history so much when she’s married to an infamous time-traveller.”

“To be honest,” Amy added, “I think she just wants to keep tabs on what he’s been up to.”

“Or who he’s helping,” Rory added. He glanced at his wife. “Do you think she knows about this place?”

Amy just looked at him. “I’m surprised she isn’t here with her field notes,” she said. She turned a sunny smile on James. “But what about your daughter. Have you had a chance to have a family dinner yet?”

“Not… exactly,” he admitted. “We’re not having the best luck here.”

“Think we should tell him about goo-baby?”

Amy shook her head. “Not going to help right now,” she said. She reached over the table and squeezed James’s hand. “It doesn’t matter, you know. The age thing. There are always going to be issues when someone takes your child from you, but never ever forget that she’s still your little girl, even if she can shoot better than you can and take down all the bad guys in the world. There are going to be days when she’ll need her dad.”

Rory put his arm around Amy’s shoulder. “And her mum,” he said. “Kids grow up all the time. You just have to remember that even if they’re fully grown, they’re still your kid.”

James looked away from both of them, his eyes pressed closed. 

Amy glanced at Rory with small, not quite bright smiles. As much as it was the truth, it didn’t stop the hurt of losing their daughter’s childhood, but if it could help the man in front of them, if he could have some reassurance it would be all right, then it would be worth it.

 

____________________________________________________

 

The Doctor had his knuckles pressed to his forehead.

“You brought magic here. After everything it did.”

“It was necessary.”

“It was stupid,” the Doctor snapped. “Space, fine. Time, fine. The immutable laws of physics and the universe, fine. Mess around with them all you like, but magic? You know how unpredictable it can be!”

Gold glowered at him. “And necessary,” he repeated. “How am I meant to find him in a world of so many people? Shouting from the rooftops?”

“Haven’t you ever heard of the internet?” the Doctor said with a sigh.

They were standing inside the TARDIS. The screens were illuminated, and two were flashing alarmingly. The Doctor’s hands ran over the consoles, tugging, flicking, even stroking panels, and he exhaled noisily. 

“This… complicates things.”

Gold’s hand tightened on his cane. “Permanently?”

The Doctor said nothing, scrutinising the screens and frowning intently. He didn’t even turn when the door of the TARDIS creaked open. Gold glanced around, unsurprised to see Belle standing there. She looked completely unsurprised to see the inside of the ship, but then, she had seen the inside of the Dark Castle.

“Hello,” she said.

The Doctor whirled around. “Tell me,” he said without a pause, “how you would break through an impermeable barrier constructed by an element that should not be available in the current environment, without damaging both the environment and the structural integrity of the surroundings?”

Belle blinked at him. “Carefully?”

The Doctor clapped his hands together. “Ha! Exactly!” He turned back to the TARDIS mainframe. “Carefully, carefully. Made by magic, but suspended there by the laws of this world, which doesn’t accept magic”. He slapped his hand to his forehead. “Can’t be impermeable, because we came in, but we had to do it carefully, but then, if we…” He bent over the screens, frowning harder. “No, no, no. Wouldn’t work unless we had a stupendously large pendulum…”

“Rumpel,” Belle murmured, edging closer to him. “What’s going on?”

“This man may be able to help us leave Storybrooke,” he murmured, jolting when her hand slipped into his. “You needn’t stay.”

She looked at him with a small, reproachful smile. “And miss our date?”

He smiled crookedly. “Well, I can safely say this is the first one to be interrupted by an alien.”

Belle’s eyes widened. “He’s an alien?”

“Well, if he’s not, he’s certainly very strange.”

The Doctor whipped around. “The one who left,” he said. “How did he go?”

“Pushed?” Gold hazarded. He’s still in town now, but with no memory of who he is.”

The Doctor tapped his fingers together urgently in front of his face. “Can cross the line, but it works as a filter. Sifts out the memories that only belong in town, which means anyone who has no memories in town…” He flicked himself in the middle of the forehead. “There has to be something that means the filter can be defused…”

Gold reluctantly looked at Belle. “Maybe you should go,” he said. “This could take some time.”

She squeezed his hand. “I’ll be at the library when you’re done,” she said.

The door closed behind her, and he approached the consoles and the Doctor, who was glaring at the information there.

“If you had something that was a marker for the memories you wanted to retain,” he murmured.

The Doctor turned his head and looked at him intently. “Which would work as some kind of anti-detection software, because the memories are bound to the inanimate object, rather than the animate consciousness…”

“And if it’s something meaningful, everyone in town will have access to something.”

The Doctor stared at him long and hard. “If this works,” he said. “You’re off magic, science and dimensional travel, do you understand?”

Gold looked back at him. “What else would I need it for?” he asked.

A bony finger poked his chest. “No going backsies.”

Gold thought of the Enchanted Forest and the misery of life there without Belle or Bae. “I don’t think that will be a problem,” he said. 

 

_______________________________________________

 

Henry insisted on seeing the spaceship.

James couldn’t help feeling sorry for him when he saw the boring square blue telephone box.

“That’s a space ship?” he said doubtfully.

Amy, the red-haired woman, grinned. “Come with me,” she said, offering Henry her hand. “I’ll give you a quick tour. But you can’t tell your grandfather what you see inside.”

“There’s nothing dangerous in there, is there?” James said warily.

“Only the swimming pool, if the lights are off,” Rory reassured him. He was sitting on the bench a few paces away, legs stretched out in front of him. James nodded, and Amy disappeared into the ship with the boy. “He’s a good kid.”

“Yeah,” James said, sinking down to sit beside him. “What about you? Any grandkids?”

Rory smiled crookedly. “Two thousand years old and a daughter who has been age-hopping since I met her, and not one.”

James frowned, looking at the man beside him. “Two thousand?”

“You remember the long story Amy mentioned?” Rory said with a chuckle. “Well, it really is very, very long.” He stretched his arms over his head. “No matter what they tell you, nothing in life ever goes as planned.”

“You got that right,” James said with a wan smile. “I know Snow and Emma will come back, but it’s just… it’s exhausting.” He looked at his hands, then back at Rory. “How do you do it? Deal with it all?”

Rory looked at him. “I just make sure I’m there when they need me, whenever it might be,” he said. “I don’t know when. I don’t know why. I just know sometimes, they’ll need me, and when that time comes, I’ll be there.” He smiled into nothing, shaking his head. “Sometimes, you have to wait a long time, but it’s worth it.”

“Aha! Pond Two!” Both men on the bench turned to see the Doctor behind them. “I thought Amy had shrunk you! You need to warn me next time she brings small children on board. I almost recalibrated to age him up.”

“Henry!” James was on his feet in an instant.

“Don’t worry,” Amy said, ushering the boy out of the ship. He was grinning from ear to ear. “I can speak enough Doctorese to stop him growth-spurting anyone.” She ruffled Henry’s hair. “You remember our deal, kid?”

“Won’t tell anyone,” he promised, beaming. 

Amy smiled. “James,” she said. “Nice meeting you.”

“Likewise.”

She turned her grin on her husband. “You coming?”

“If I have to,” he sighed mournfully. He offered James a hand, which the other man shook. “Don’t forget,” he said. “Waiting isn’t a bad thing.”

James nodded. “Thanks.”

Rory shrugged, smiling, and followed his wife back into the ship.

The Doctor bounded closer. “A word of advice,” he said. “Keep an eye on that Rumpelstiltskin. He might need a hand in the near future.”

“What did…”

The Doctor threw up his hands. “Sorry! Spoilers!” he declared, then dashed back into the ship, slamming the doors behind him. A strange, mechanical noise cut through the air and the ship vanished from sight. 

“That was cool,” Henry breathed in awe.

James looked down at him. “So what was it like on the inside, then?”

Henry contemplated for a moment, then looked up at him. “Bigger.”

James shook his head with a rueful smile. “This day has been a weird day,” he said.


End file.
